Family establishes a sense of belonging in individuals and gives them an identity that, sometimes, defines their place, status, and position in society. This helps children learn about their identity and their responsibility towards society. It knits them together and inspires them to work collectively toward a better future. The collectiveness of a family fuels the importance of unity among its members. Different families have a set of values, beliefs, and attitudes that are passed down from one generation to another, primarily the communications children receive from their parents. Children often internalize their beliefs without evaluating their validity, truthfulness, or usefulness.
The Seesaw of Legacies
Understanding your family’s legacy can be crucial in your life. It can help us decide which principles and attitudes to value and adopt. It is crucial to carry legacies with a pinch of positiveness. For instance, a person raised in a family that values quality time will transmit the same to their children. Transferring a positive legacy to the children can drastically help their development phase. It can help parents infuse an optimistic outlook of the world before children.
Sometimes, one might want to modify the so-called legacies they received from their parents. For instance, one may have been raised by parents who were very harsh in their values. The strictness and the lack of freedom might have restricted them from exploring their passion and hobbies as a child. They might want to modify their values and prevent the same from happening to their children. People might rely on better ways of upbringing than hiding behind overly restrictive disciplines that shame their children.
Legacies often collide when parents try to inappropriately bring their family traditions to the table. That does not put a parent in the wrong light but represents contradicting legacies. The dilemma often manifests in quarrels that plague a child’s development.
Knowing the Ancestors
One of the best ways to avoid colliding legacies is to try and understand your family’s roots. Knowing our ancestors can help us gain a historical background of our family. Ancestral stories can help us connect the dots and come up with a conclusion. Understanding our family history can help us find long-lost answers. It can help us make sense of traditions we thought had no value. This can also help us recognize how intergenerational stories affect individual family members’ sense of family legacies, enabling and confining their identities.
In his book Discovering the Family I Never Knew, Lee Brand, the former mayor of Fresno, stresses the need to learn more about forefathers. The mayor-turned-author leverages the life of his protagonist Jeffrey Madison to encourage readers to connect with their family history. Madison’s journey to find his roots is an expedition that enables him to discover the hidden truths about his family.
There are visible glimpses of Lee’s life in his maiden attempt with the pen. Brand profoundly uses his life experiences to bring life to Jeffrey’s character. Now 73, Lee was the middle child surrounded by his mother and extended family. But he continuously struggled to find a place in the shadow of his elder brother. Jeffrey’s story primarily reflects his life for the losses he suffered as a child. Lee lost his father at a tender age, similar to the book’s protagonist.
Discovering the Family I Never Knew is an account of events stressing that anyone can find the lost stories if one wishes. All it takes to find the truth is perseverance, determination, and will. Our ancestral history can give us an individual perspective and reasons to connect with our legacies. It can also play a crucial role in helping us find our true purpose.
The similar stories of Lee and Madison’s life are prominent examples for people looking to find the truth about their families. Sometimes, it’s essential to go back to understand the origins that gave birth to traditions, values, and legacy. It’s the only way to find the meaning of family.
