When you hear the words “tantric massage”, you might picture a Hollywood star on a spa bed surrounded by candles and crystals. Celebrities may enjoy it, but tantra is something anyone can explore. What you really need is a bit of time, some patience and your own body.
Tantric massage is not about luxury products or complicated rituals. It centres on your mind, your breath and the way you experience touch. It invites you to slow down and really notice how your body feels in each moment.
Some people find the experience soft and soothing, others feel waves of warmth, tingling or deep relaxation. There is nothing specific you have to achieve. The aim is to unwind, become more aware and gently release tension.
Although tantra is often linked to intimacy, in this context it is not about explicit sexual activity. It is about creating a kinder, more connected relationship with your body and your overall sense of wellbeing. Practised regularly, it can help you feel more comfortable in your own skin and more present in everyday life.
What is tantra?
Tantra has roots in ancient traditions and is based on stillness, presence and deep relaxation. A tantric massage is a gentle, mindful practice you can enjoy with a partner or on your own.
Rather than rushing, tantra encourages you to slow your pace, notice your breathing and tune in to how you feel. It brings together thoughts, emotions and physical sensations to calm a busy mind and invite a sense of peace and acceptance.
Tantric specialist Nadia Deen from the Intimology Institute explains that it is not a one size fits all practice. The focus is on being fully present and learning to accept yourself as you are. Pleasure may appear as a natural bonus, but the real intention is to deepen
connection and guide the body away from stress into a calmer state. Many people find it helps with sleep, tension, mood and feeling more grounded.
Tantric coach Layla Martin suggests thinking of tantra in the way you might compare meditation with just sitting, or yoga with ordinary stretching. You can sit without ever meditating and you can stretch without touching the deeper benefits of yoga. In the same way, everyday touch can feel completely different when you bring a clear intention to it, such as wanting to feel peaceful, connected or more aware. Tantra adds that sense of purpose and uses simple tools like breath, focus and gentle movement to turn something ordinary into a more meaningful experience.
How to give a tantric massage?
To give a tantric massage, start by putting yourself in the right frame of mind. Set aside enough time so you do not feel rushed, turn off your phone and any screens and make sure you will not be interrupted. The idea is to step away from everyday stress into a calm, unhurried space where you can focus fully on the person you are caring for. Next, prepare the room. A warm, comfortable temperature, soft lighting from lamps or a few candles and quiet background sounds, such as relaxing music or nature tracks, all help create a soothing atmosphere. A light scent from an essential oil or candle can be lovely too, as long as no one is sensitive to fragrance. Your goal is a cosy, peaceful environment that invites you both to relax.
Before you begin the massage, take a moment to connect. Sit together, look into each other’s eyes for a few breaths and gently match your breathing until you both feel settled. Then ask them to lie on their front and warm a little oil in your hands. Start in the centre of the back and glide outwards towards the shoulders, arms and hips with slow, steady strokes. Explore often overlooked areas such as the soles of the feet, between the fingers and toes, the back of the arms, the neck and, if they enjoy it, the scalp. Keep an eye on their reactions and adjust your touch or pressure so they remain comfortable. Aim to spend at least half an hour moving around the whole body, front and back, in a calm, unhurried way.
Throughout, keep your attention on overall relaxation rather than any fixed goal. You can vary your touch, from broad, flowing strokes to gentle kneading on tense muscles or light, feathery contact for a soothing effect, while staying on areas that feel safe and non intimate. The heart of a tantric style massage is to slow everything down, deepen your sense of connection and allow the body and mind to let go of tension. If you like, you can gently spice things up by blending in elements from other relaxing styles such as a silky, full body nuru massage or a calming aqua massage to create a richer, spa like experience. And if you would like to explore tantra with a trained professional, you can always book a session with Vibes Tantric for expert guidance.
