Cheryl and Sarah (31) from South London, founded the Cancer, Sex, and Intimacy project with the aim of breaking the silence around sex and cancer.
As part of the project, Macmillan Cancer Support funded four online workshops in which women were invited to share their experience of sex and intimacy during and after cancer treatment.
The women also received clinical advice from cancer nurses and help from Married At First Sight UK’s Charlene Douglas on how to discuss intimacy with your partner after cancer treatment.
Sh! (a female-focussed sex shop) collaborated with Cheryl and Sarah on the workshops. Sh! showcased products chosen specifically to address sexual problems that may occur because of cancer treatment. For example: sex toys that you can sit on if you are tired or have reduced mobility, lingerie to help body confidence, and different lubricants to help dryness.
Cheryl: “When it comes to sex, people can be understandably hesitant to open up. The sex toys provided by Sh! really helped to break the ice in the workshops – as soon as they came out, the questions started flying into the chat box!”
Sarah: “It felt as though the women in these workshops had been waiting such a long time to ask these questions, it was like we had opened the floodgates.”
Sarah was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma in January 2017 and Cheryl was diagnosed with stage four Neuroendocrine cancer in the same year. Both experienced sexual problems after their cancer treatment.
Sarah: “After cancer treatment I had issues with pain during sex. I wondered what was going on because this hadn’t been mentioned to me before. I had great care from my nurses, but sex wasn’t discussed.”
“After running the workshops, I realised that things like pain during sex, vaginal dryness, and early menopause are experienced by many women after cancer treatment.”
Cheryl: “I had a large surgical cut and there was no discussion with me about how I would navigate sex and intimacy. Even women who have been diagnosed with gynaecological cancers are often not signposted to services that can help them with sex and intimacy after treatment.”
The workshops focussed on building self-confidence and strengthening the women’s relationship with their own bodies after cancer treatment. Sarah and Cheryl also started a post-workshop coffee morning, so that participants could have a safe space to share and unwind in a smaller environment.
Sarah-Jane (45) was diagnosed with ovarian and womb cancer in 2019, and attended the Cancer, Sex & Intimacy online workshops.
“I was told that my cancer was incurable in January 2020 and had to undergo chemo alone because of Covid. Because of this I had a reoccurrence of post-traumatic stress disorder. It was also around this time that I began to notice that I had a lack of sexual pleasure, and that I was unable to orgasm.”
“I had surgery to remove a 4kg tumour. They also removed my ovaries, womb, and two-thirds of my vagina. Twelve hours after surgery, I went through the menopause, aged just 42. This was because of the drop in hormones caused by the removal of my ovaries.”
“I received no information on sex from my healthcare team, so I went online and found the Cancer, Sex & Intimacy workshops. Attending the workshops felt empowering, I thought: ‘finally, I’m in a group of other women talking about the same things I have gone through’. I didn’t feel shame anymore.”
Sarah-Jane is a lesbian and proud member of the LGBTQ+ community. She wants to speak up on behalf of this community, whom she feels are underrepresented within cancer care.
“I thought the cancer information, including information I got on sex was very heteronormative. In the workshops, Sh! were great, they opened up the conversations around lesbian relationships. They spoke about non-partnered pleasure and non-penetrative sex.”
“The workshops gave me more creative ways of finding pleasure. Thanks to them, I am now getting help from a psychosexual therapist.”
Adriana MacNaughton, Macmillan Engagement Lead for London said:
“Sex is still one of the taboo issues for people living with cancer. Unfortunately, shame and stigma often prevent people from getting help, and their mental health and relationships suffer as a result.”
“Macmillan’s work has highlighted how important it is to support doctors, so that they can have conversations with cancer patients around sex and intimacy. We know that the NHS is under huge pressure right now, and health professionals are working hard to provide the best service they can. Training for health professionals on how to talk to cancer patients about sex seems to be inconsistent.”
“At Macmillan, we want everyone with cancer to feel that they can talk to us about anything that is concerning them, so that we can get them the right support to help them through. The Macmillan-funded information video aimed at health professionals is just the first step in supporting doctors to have these conversations with their patients.”
Cheryl and Sarah have created a patient-led video, in collaboration with Sh! and directed by Fig Films. The video is aimed at informing patients and health professionals about women’s experience of sex during and after cancer treatment.
