There are widely recognised practices during Ramadan but less is known of the balance many Muslim families face between their spiritual commitments and the demands of supporting a loved one living with dementia.
Thabrez Khan, Robeena Ali and Sania Rehman are all carers for relatives with dementia – the UK’s biggest killer. Together, they are sharing their realities of this holy month, while offering supportive advice and encouragement for others in similar situations.
Thabrez’s mum has mixed dementia – Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia. He shares caring responsibilities with his siblings in his brother’s home and says watching his mum during Ramadan reminds him that faith can live somewhere deeper than memory.
He said: “Traditionally, this is the month of return, we all want to reconnect back with God. The difference, and especially in my mum’s case, is the difficulties people living with dementia can have in processing and recognising what is happening at any given time.
“Routine and timings are important during Ramadan, but for Mum her dementia causes huge disruptions to how she goes about her day and night.
“She will repeatedly ask if Ramadan has started, re-read the same page of the Qur’an as if it’s the first time and begin prayers again mid-way through. As the time for Iftar approaches, and we gather to break the fast at sunset, mum will ask ‘are we having guests?’ ‘Is there a special occasion?’.
“Dementia takes so much away but something about the rhythm of Ramadan still reaches her, as if the heart remembers even when the mind cannot.”
There are around one million people with dementia living in the UK, according to Alzheimer’s Society, who all three carers receive support from. Fasting in Ramadan is a compulsory part of being a Muslim but there are provisions for different groups of people including those living with dementia, who are not expected to take part.
Robeena, is a full-time carer for her mum Nasim, who was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2025. She left her long-standing career as a health and wellbeing adviser in the NHS and council, where she’d support others to look after themselves, but says nothing really prepares you for the role of a family carer.
Robeena said: “Our faith teaches us that it is a blessing to care for our parents, that we will be rewarded and we shouldn’t be negative about this. Though, we are only human.
“This month is about taking time to cleanse the soul and detach from the distractions of the world. Prayers are therapeutic but unfortunately, my mum’s needs don’t have a specific time. When I miss prayers, I have in the back of my mind that by caring for mum and supporting her, I’m fulfilling my faith.
“I have limited sleep to care for her if she’s distressed in the night and she now needs support with eating. I’ve spoken to family this year to suggest some external respite for mum, especially through Ramadan.
“There are four generations within our family and attitudes are starting to change around care but for my generation, there can still be a lot of stigma around putting our elders into a care home.”
Sania is a mum of three and carer for her mother-in-law who lives with them. She’s observing Ramadan with her husband and two older children.
She said: “Our house is decorated inside and out until the celebrations of Eid al-Fitr – the end of the month-long fasting period – expected this year on 19 or 20 March.
“But Ramadan goes beyond merely abstaining from food and drink. It’s a vital act of worship and serves as a reminder of the core values of faith, belief, patience, and self-discipline – all of which can be tested as a carer for someone with dementia, especially when energy is depleted through tiredness or hunger.
“I remind myself during this time that worship doesn’t have a single path to follow, and how I devote my time now may look different in later life.
“Right now, maintaining a safe home for my family, cooking meals, dedicating time with my children, showing kindness, care and upholding my mother-in-law’s dignity is all bringing me closer to God.”
All three carers recognise there will be many other Muslim families in similar situations to them, or families who may have noticed changes recently in their loved ones. Here’s four pieces of advice they are sharing collectively.
Worship and caregiving coexist
There are countless examples through the Qur’an that tell us the importance of caring – the care we give our loved ones with dementia is a valid act of worship.
Offer validation
Rather than reminding our loved ones of their limitations and what they cannot do, be patient to acknowledge and support their feelings if wanting to be part of traditions or connecting to what’s happening around them, even when actions may not follow.
There are many other meaningful ways someone with dementia can participate in acts of worship, each of which holds great reward.
Manage your expectations to support your own wellbeing
Balancing fasting, prayers and family responsibilities alongside round-the-clock care requires resilience and support. As carers we must find a place of acceptance and allow ourselves to say ‘it’s ok’ if our routines change regularly.
You are not alone, expert support is available
All three carers are in touch with Alzheimer’s Society, the UK’s leading dementia charity, and urge anyone worried about themselves or a loved one to contact the charity’s Dementia Support Line on 0333 150 3456. They provide a translation for callers who do not have English as their language of choice and have a number of dementia publications and films in other languages. To find out more visit alzheimers.org.uk
