For novice runner Astrid Dolan the notorious London Marathon ‘wall’ holds few fears as she knows the pain she’s endured in the year or so since her husband Theo died will dwarf anything she suffers as she strides on towards the 26.2-mile finish line, cheered on by her two young daughters.
So determined is Astrid, to recreate the happy place the London Marathon held for the whole family, that she’s going all out not only to complete it, but to experience it from Theo’s viewpoint and raise money for St Christopher’s who have provided bereavement support to her and five-year-old Mollie.
Theo ran every day and never took a break, she adds. The London Marathon was his favourite day of the year, and it became a special day for the family.
“When I say he adored the London Marathon, I mean he was obsessed – he may as well have been doing PR for them, constantly encouraging others to enter! He was absolutely infectious, running with joy and determination, somehow pulling off incredible times. His dream for 2025 was to run a sub-3-hour marathon.”
Tragically, Theo died in January 2025 and when marathon day came around three months later, Astrid says it was one of her darkest days.
“With Theo, the Marathon was such a positive day. The girls had signs they’d proudly painted, he would run amazingly and it was just so happy.
“Last year I found the day so triggering. It was the worst day since the funeral and it just felt like it represented all the happiness we’d lost. I sat in the house with his ashes on my lap and bawled.”
Demonstrating the same resoluteness that she’d shown from day one, Astrid quickly turned what was a heartbreaking day into a positive one – by entering the ballot for London Marathon 2026.
“I want my kids to be able to enjoy it again, to be able to paint those signs and have to someone to cheer for. It will always be painful but hopefully it’ll change my perspective so that I can enjoy it again too.”
A recent half marathon timed at 1 hour 56 mins bodes well for Astrid, but says it’s really about reclaiming the family’s special day and raising money for St Christopher’s. She’s hoping friends and family will help her reach her £5,000 target.
“From two weeks after Theo died, St Christopher’s has always been there for us. Through this unbearable journey, they have been our anchor.
“I was so desperate to do everything I could for the girls and so the first time I called Emma in the Candle Child Bereavement team was to ask for her advice about whether they should go to the funeral. She reassured me that my gut instinct to include them was the right thing to do. From the very start she was so caring and understanding.”
Such is the demand for the Candle service that it was June before Mollie had the first of her six weekly therapy sessions with Emma, but Astrid says, she was always at the end of the phone or an email.
“Emma made the sessions so fun and she was so gentle. They did art, looked at photos and played with toys while talking and remembering Mollie’s dad. She has always been there for us.”
For Astrid, even the small acts of kindness really resonated with her.
“All the staff are so kind and welcoming, they really get how intensely overworked a widow is. A coffee and biscuit – those tiny gestures of care make such a difference. On one of my first visits to St Christopher’s, I was really upset and properly loud crying. People came and comforted me gave me something to eat, a coffee and a hug. The whole experience was so empathetic and kind.”
Astrid has attended monthly group sessions with other parents of bereaved children and appreciates sharing the highs and lows with other people who’ve shared a similar experience of what she describes as ‘such a lonely journey’.
But it’s the professional bereavement support for Mollie and the knowledge that will be there for Elodie when she’s old enough and for herself when it’s the right time, that really means so much to Astrid and drives her on as she strives to ensure she completes the marathon for St Christopher’s.
“It feels like they are just so emotionally invested in us, so compassionate and empathetic. We feel heard and cared for. Emma really has given her heart to us as a family and that is so rare and so lovely when you’ve gone through this kind of loss.”
The family have also taken strength from the remembering events they’ve attended with members of their extended family – tying a ribbon on the tree in the summer and lighting a candle for Theo at Christmas.
Astrid views her relationship with St Christopher’s as instrumental in her family’s journey towards turning their grief into something meaningful. Now she’s looking to her participation in the marathon to play its part too.
“For us, the marathon has to return to what it was for Theo – a symbol of resilience, strength, and the courage to keep moving forward.”
